jif

wake up

Wake up young man, it's time to wake up
Your love affair has got to go
For 10 long years, for 10 long years
The leaves to rake up
Slow suicide's no way to go, oh
Blue, clouded grey
You're not a crack up
Dizzy and weakened by the haze
Moving onward
So an infection not a phase
Yeah, oh

The cracks and lines from where you gave up
They make an easy man to read, oh
For all the times you let them bleed you
For a little peace from God you plead, and beg
For a little peace from God you plead
Ahhaahh, Yeah, Ahhaahh, Yeah, Ahhaahh, Yeah

Wake up young man, wake up, wake up
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Oh, yeah

Wake up young man, it's time to wake up
Your love affair has got to go, yeah
For 10 long years, for 10 long years,
The leaves to rake up
Slow suicide's no way to go, oh
Slow suicide's no way to go
Wake up, wake up, wake up
Wake up, wake up, wake up
  • Current Music
    Mad Season
jif

shows the world up with a smile then throws the fight

Looks to me like heaven sent
No lullaby kid no 5%

Any way you want to cut that cake
She's dyin' from the likes of abandonment

Lost in the valley without my horses
She need somebody to hold

It looks to me like heaven
Sent this for your roughest night
She looks to me
She looks to me all right

Who's going to take you home
And hold you when things aren't so bright
She looks to me
She looks to me all right

It's a long walk down those tracks
It's a dirty walk in
It's a dirty walk back
Gonna learn awe way too much
Shootin' dope in the back
Of a cadillac jack

Slow down the road to my back 40
She needs somebody to hold

Down in the south seas
Give me your mouth please
Resuscitation
Is the way I find these
I give you major
You give me minor
Don't fade away
Like an ocean liner
Now

Lost in the valley
Without my horses
No one can tell me
What my remorse is

God made this lady
That stands before me
She need somebody to hold

She shows the world up with a smile
And then she throws the fight
She looks to me she looks to me
All right

Down on the bathroom floor
She's searching for another light
She looks to me she looks to me
All right

  • Current Music
    RHCP
jif

whoa it's been a while

i ventured back over from myspace today. i felt like writing, and myspace doesn't really feel like the place where i can get some of my thoughts out. i guess no matter where life takes you,
we always feel safe where we started out.
(good segway, if i do say so...)
this time of year is always a difficult for me, and every year it just feels harder and harder to jump over the hurtle of the seasons changing, i don't really know why. memories from my childhood have been popping up in my head. my mind starts to wander and the places it's been ending up have been...nostalgic. there have been a few memories that have popped up that i haven't thought of in YEARS. this one of my dad taking me and my sister to the "spaceship playground" down hyland blvd. it really was a couple of baseball fields and a park, and the center of the park had this giant slide in the shape of a shuttle, made out of metal tubing...and now that i think about it, it probably wasn't that safe for a 5 to 7 year old to be climbing on....but anyway, my dad would bring me and my sister there, and let us ride our bikes with training wheels up and down this ramp thing. i actually only remember going a handfull of times, i remember we wanted to go all the time, and we couldn't go that much for some reason, it made the times we did go really special.

i just remember being happy...i was a kid, on a bike, with training wheels, at the playground with my family....and thats all that mattered back then.


for a second i got so mad at my subconscious for even holding on to that memory, it made me miss being a kid so bad. i missed being taken care of, i just wanted a taste of innocence again, just for a second.

never the less, my mind spat off into hundreds of directions, remembering how my parents were back then, how my sister was, when my brother was born...holidays....my cousins, my aunts....
everyones getting older.
maybe thats why the fall is hard for me, theres a sadness that comes with the end of summer, and a call to face the next season.

school i'm sure is having some sort of weird role in my emo-ness. it's forcing me to think about where i see myself within the next 5 years. i've never thought that far ahead before. it's weird.

i am happy with my life now tho, and i AM excited about getting older, i want to make a life for myself thats worth living, and who knows someday maybe i can relive my childhood thru my own kids.
ha. adams gunna like reading that....
but ain't that a thought.

i'm going to definitely take them pumpkin picking.
  • Current Mood
    thankful thankful
jif

(no subject)

well, i got some sort of email from LJ - a "nudge" of somesort, so i guess someone out there is looking for me to post.
not sure who or why, my life has pretty much been low key over the past...err..14 weeks or so as LJ put it.
i've been working, as usual, and went back to school. i start the nursing program in jan. excited about tat.
been pretty much taking things day by day. it's the only way to get thru it all. taking things slow. tho time is relative and as slow as i'm taking things i feel like life is rushing me along.
adam and i are doing ok. he's doing well at his job, i'm happy he's doing something he loves. as for me, i'm not sure what i want to do, but i have direction. which i guess is something that's changed recently. it's nice to have direction. it defineatly makes things easier to deal with.

i've been listening to this new artist/band whatever you want to call him, Prospect. you can check him out at myspace.com/prospect
oh that's another thing, i kinda, i guess you can say, abandoned LJ for myspace. not sure why. but i spend more time on there. you can check out my myspace if you want it's myspace.com/whale_and_wasps

as far as battling old deamons, i've gotten better, a lot better. i'm not as depressed anymore, i have my moments, but they are alot eaiser to get thru these days.

anyway, whoever nudged me, i thank you for your interest...and i invite any LJ friends who have myspaces to add me over there too :)
  • Current Music
    prospect // rising to set
jif

(no subject)

i deleted my last post. i woke up this morning, and i did feel a LITTLE better than i did last night. and the post would only make things worse. i appreciate your kind words. and your right. Douchbaggery defineatly lightened things up a bit.
love you all. :)
-alyssa
jif

(no subject)

ok, so i havn't been on LJ in a REALLY long time, but WTF- ADVERTISMENTS?!?! how do i get them off my journal? this ain't Myspace yo!
  • Current Mood
    aggravated aggravated
jif

(no subject)

so I just got home from school, no work today...AND NO WORK TOMORROW!! WOOHOO!!! my office is open and people are working, BUT NOT ME!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH i worked my boss to get the day off, i'm evil hehehe. but it's great, i've been waiting for this all week, I plan on sitting around, and doing NOTHING. i'm doing the laundry and straightening up now so tomorrow i won't have to worry about it. it's kinda hard getting motivated right now to do it tho, maybe it's cause i just smoked a bowl, and threw my californication cd. i havn't listened to chili peppers in FOREVER, i kinda dig that new song on the radio, i can't think of the name of it right now, but it's pretty good.
anyway, i'm pretty beat, i've been going non-stop now for about 3 weeks, and for some reason i haven't been eating that much, probably because i've literally been SO consumed with shit i have to do, that i really don't have time to think about eating. My diet has pretty much been a bagel on the morning on the way into work, and a red bull for lunch, and for dinner if i'm home early enough to eat a meal, it's been pizza or chinese food. Today tho I had the BOMB breakfast at brookdale...for $3.95 you get two eggs, two pieces of toast, potatoes and juice. and it's GOOD, it totally hit the spot this morning. I defineatly felt more awake and alert all morning, which was good for class.
But i must say on weekends, we've been staying at our friends house just outside of Trenton, and we eat GOOD. they have the best places to eat out there and into PA. the best part is it's been mostly free for me and adam cause adams new job covers most of it. well i think Ricky and Mark take care of most of it, or, i don't really, all i know is the shit's free for me, and free food is GOOD FOOD. but seriously, i really have a good time out there, we're always doing something, or eating. but i defineatly need a break to decompress...

i love this cd

:::sighs:::

i guess i should do that shit it's getting late.
later
  • Current Music
    RHCP // road trippin